The Thing About Love
by klainecrisscolferforever
Summary: Prompt: Can you write Klaine going to pre marital counseling session where Santana is the sarcastic and rude counselor?


"Come on Blaine, it couldn't hurt. Mercedes says this could be good for us. She and Sam went and they aren't even engaged yet! This could be good in the long run," exclaims Kurt. "Babe, I don't think we need it. We are solid and we know the ends and outs of our relationship. This could just be a waste of time and money that can be saved for our future kids education," reasons a frustrated Blaine. "Please baby! Please please just do this for me? Your fiance? Husband to be? Love of your life?" Kurt says with a pout knowing it's Blaine's weakness. With a deep sigh from Blaine, Kurt knew he'd cave eventually. "Fine, Kurt, but I swear if this doesn't work at all, we are leaving and not going back." Kurt squeals and hugs Blaine tightly. "Thanks babe, I will make the call," he finishes with a quick peck on the Blaine's lips. _What am I getting myself into,_ thought Blaine. Three days, Monday morning finds Kurt and Blaine sitting in the waiting room of Santana Lopez's office reading _Pre-Marital Counseling. _"Hummel, Anderson, she will see you now," says the unimpressed receptionist. With bated breathes they entered the office of Mrs. Lopez. "Alright, let's get down to it. I'm Santana Lopez and I'm the counselor, yada yada yada. Why are you here today?" The couple shared a look of disbelief, "Well," Blaine starts, "We are getting married in a month and wanted to try this via our best friends advice, Sam and Mercedes." "Ah, Aretha and Trouty Mouth. I really liked them, interesting couple. The guy's mouth was so big you could fit a fist in there and the girl was pretty. Would've been an interesting threesome with me and my best friend" she states crudely. "So what is it you want from this?" Kurt blinks rapidly as he process what was just said about his best friend and her boyfriend. "Erm, I think this might have been a mistake, baby," whispers Kurt to Blaine. "Oh no Porcelain, you might need me more than you think. I am hella good at what I do and I gots to get paid boo boo. So sit your cute perky ass down and take Tana down memory lane of the life of you and Frodo over here," she crosses her legs and waits expectantly. Blaine jumps in before Kurt can retaliate with a insult of his own, "Well we met in high school when he spied on the glee club at my school. We became best friends after I helped him with a uh bullying problem. We were sixteen, but didn't get together until we were seventeen and we've been together every since. I proposed to Kurt when we were twenty last year and we are getting married next month as I said before and that's about it," Blaine explains. Santana jots down a few notes, "So how's the sex? Bottom, top, switch? You look like a switch couple seeing as Frodo screams bottom, but Porcelain is the one limping today." Kurt had had enough, "How the hell did you get this job? You are crude, inconsiderate, rude, and a straight out awful person. Do you even know anything about marriage, happy couples, love, any of that? Wow, what the hell was Mercy thinking, this was a complete waste of time. We will not pay for you to insult us or our life together. We are happy, he is the love of my life, I am spending forever and eternity with this man, no matter what you have to say! Let's go Blaine," yells Kurt as he goes to gather his things. "Kurt, baby calm down. Don't get so worked up. Breathe honey, just breathe," instructs Blaine as he tries to calm his fiance. "Can I say one thing before you get the hell out of my office? Well, I am anyway so sit Lady and Gels McGee. I got my degree at NYU so I am very qualified. I have been married to my beautiful wife, Brittany Pierce-Lopez since we ran off when we were 18 years old, so I know a little about love. I went to McKinley in Lima and plan to never show my face at that place again due to the bullying and my parents kicking me out. I know what I am doing because that little out burst, fuck you by the way Hummel, I can tell that you don't need me. You guys are made for each other by how you defending him and your relationship and how you were able to calm him down. When I see you two, I see love just like when I'm with my Brittany. So get the hell out of here, don't worry so much, and enjoy your wedding and marriage. You guys will be fine," she says with a genuine smile and a wave of the hand. The couple looks at her baffled and stands to leave the office. "Thank you Dr. Lopez," they say in union. She smiles and pulls out her phone to call her pregnant wife, "Hey babe, I'm on my way home. Do you need anything before I get there?"

"No, I just want you. Hurry home baby. I love you Tana." Santana smiles, "I love you too Britt."


End file.
